Tailgating: Size Doesn’t Matter…Really!

I have been trying to convince myself of this my entire life. Even though Hanlon’s last GF video was entitled “America Loves Big Men,” I am still not convinced. College Football season has just kicked off and that means grid iron beat-downs and more importantly – epic tailgating parties. Why the title? When it comes to tailgating size really doesn’t matter. EEJS will argue that OSU has the best tailgates because they are the biggest and the Gators also take claim to that title. Yes, UCLA may have smaller parties, but that doesn’t matter.

EEJS and I went to the Bruin season opener against Tennessee. What a freakin’ game.  Normally, I would not be writing about sports. Quite frankly, I don’t follow sports except for college football, basketball, and synchronized swimming. I like to write about little people tribute bands, box wine, and my travels around the world. However, I feel compelled to show my common-man side…tailgating. Time to get back to my roots!

What’s tailgating, you ask? A tailgate party is a social gathering held on or around the open tailgate of a truck. The term had to get its roots from those boys who drive F-150’s, although I can’t prove that. EEJS has a different interpretation. With all of the cheerleaders and college sorority girls running around, he may call it a “tail-gate” for other reasons! The type of tailgating I am talking about involves beverages (you know what I am talking about) and grilling food. While in college, those beverages were Keystone Lights. Today we graduate to 80/20 Vodka Sodas and the occasional shot-gunning of a beer!  The parties usually occur in the parking lots at stadiums and arenas before, and occasionally after or during, sporting events and rock concerts. The beauty of tailgating is that you don’t even have to have a tailgate! When we go to the Rose Bowl, we set up on a huge field with thousands of other rabid fans.

Now, back to the reason why I say “size doesn’t matter.” Some buffoons go all out and spend thousands of dollars on trailers rigged with a generator, plasma television, a built in grill and kegerator.  Some even bring their living room furniture to a game. Of course, we are only talking about a futon, plastic chairs and an empty keg for a side table. Not kidding. I guarantee there is a box of wine there somewhere! Just ask our friend Joey ‘Wine Cube” Maga who likes to bring the chillable reds with crazy straws. 

I tend to keep it simple. So simple that I go with my Coleman RoadTrip Party Grill, standard cooler, and a Radio Flyer ATV Wagon.  Check out my Vans and yellow socks! Now that is team spirit. The party grill is about 14 inches in circumference but cooks up the best burgers around.  Yes, I get a few laughs – nothing new – but this bad boy can out do most barbeques.

The cooler is another necessity. I use a standard cooler which holds a case of beer, half gallon of vodka, cranberry juice, club soda, a six pack of Tab, and food. For the last three years my gear has worked perfectly. However, while I like the simplistic approach to tailgating, I am obsessed with the latest in cooling devices…the “Cruizin’ Cooler.”  Take a look at this bad boy!  It goes 10 mph and travels up to 13 miles. EEJS and I are already unpacking the motorcycle helmets. It is like Hell’s Angels on coolers! The only problem is its capacity. The cruizin cooler only holds a case of beer and eight pounds of ice.  Not to worry…they offer additional coolers that can be towed! This is a dream come true. Can I get any lazier?

I Need Every Man, Woman and Child…

If you are familiar with this phrase then no doubt you are a UCLA Bruin. Or, perhaps you have been to the Rose Bowl to watch a UCLA game and have heard Geoff Strand, male cheerleader extraordinaire, scream this to his heart's content. Strand is the alumni cheerleader who fires up the rowdy tailgaters outside the Rose Bowl and continues once inside.

If you want to see Strand in action check out this YouTube clip:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8O_hv39tQQ

During the week, Strand seems normal … really? He does have a regular job as a senior advisor for a financial services firm. But on Saturdays, during football season, he is anything but normal. Strand puts on his short pants (seriously), short socks, a newsboy cap and a sweater he stole from the set of Happy Days.  "No question, what I do is a little goofy," (you think?) Strand told the L.A. Times in 2004. "People are surprised I do it. (I would be surprised if you didn’t.)They say it's kind of quaint or odd. (Definitely odd.) But that's the passion we have at UCLA. It's not contrived or marketed. It's real." Thank God someone else is willing to get into a silly outfit and get the crowd pumped up. It certainly worked against Tennessee!

Next big tailgate: USC v. OSU on September 13, 2008. In the words of EEJS…Go Bucks!

Rock on…

The Real Todd Harrison

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