If You Were Driving Around Niceville...

I can’t think of anything more entertaining than guys wearing cut-off jean shorts, sporting the worst hair style in the history of the world, and looking at a sea of Camaros. I mean, I start laughing just thinking about it! If you were driving around Niceville, Florida (I don’t know why you would be) last month then you undoubtedly saw billboards everywhere promoting a little event they call the Mullet Festival. Once I heard about this festival, I knew that I owed it to you – the loyal and faithful – to check it out.

I figured I could get enough material about these festival goers to write 100 articles. What I didn’t realize was that the festival was about a different kind of Mullet – a fish, not nearly as funny. In case you are an outdoorsman, here is a little something about the mullet fish:

The mullets or grey mullets are a family (Mugilidae) of ray-finned fish found worldwide in coastal temperates and tropical waters, and in some species in fresh water also. Mullets have served as an important source of food in Mediterranean Europe since Roman times. The family includes about 80 species in 17 genera.

Mullets are distinguished by the presence of two separate dorsal fins, small triangular mouths, and the absence of a lateral line organ. They feed on detritus, and most species have unusually muscular stomachs and a complex pharynx to help aid digestion. Okay…enough of this nonsense. Let’s get back to the true inspiration of this story.

As far as I am concerned, though, there is only one Mullet. You know what I am talking about. Now, before I make too much fun of this hairstyle and the people who still sport it, I must admit in the mid 80’s I dawned the look. I mean – who didn’t? But that was the 80’s. Move forward 20 years and some still wear it with pride. Even E-List Celebrity Bruce Zaro rocks the “mulle-chart!” Of course, Zaro puts his hairpiece in a pony tail during work hours so you can’t really tell. Too bad for him we had our GF spies follow him to Sea World to get a glimpse of the mulle-chart in all its glory!

One of my favorite websites of all times is www.mulletsgalore.com. If you want to be truly entertained, stop by this site and check out the classifications. Here are a few:

I forgot to wax my shoulders mullet:

Now, mullets are not exclusive to those who watch Deliverance every Tuesday night. Even the most powerful man in real estate sports the mulle-Trump (someone should tell him he is fired!). And I hesitate to make fun of the Norris and Segal mullets for fear of getting a roundhouse to the chops.

Who knows - maybe I am just out of touch with the latest in style. Nah…this hairstyle remains alive and well only for those who live in the woods, drive Trans-Ams with the eagle on the hood or fly the confederate flag off their pickups.

If EEJS had any guts, he would post pics of his mullet. Come on, Jimmy, your fans demand it!

Rock on…

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